This is a letter to Jim as I feel he would get what is being experienced in a lense similar to mine. This is also one of my “muses”. Both, as usual, they are one in the same. This system around us is totally fucked and I have to hop back in for a selfless interest that goes beyond just my own interests. And, that, is the lesson for many!
This sucks because the system does provide…enough so that we all take so we are stuck. In that taking we are in the prison and abide by it’s rules. So, behind the cages we must rise! I will!
I have to admit, the system’s paper work and particulars are driving me nuts. I have to participate but, gosh, shit, seriously. I do have honour…and this system and the system’s ways are not of that honour stand. This is where I have to stand back, participate and do my best to hold myself in tact.
Okay, I made decisions in the past based upon my situations that felt good and right for me. One of my (and Jim’s) desires was to have a freedom in the system…and from the system. Strange enough, we lived in a culture (latin america) that was “strange”, to say the least, in this regard. Difficult, to say the least. But, we both desired to claim our sovereignty and in today’s world, that means be super smart in a hero fashion. The legalese of this means you have to know the language, the rights and the way to present yourself as a true, living, land person. That is NOT an easy task. Jim was passionate..and he had a lot of knowledge. But, he couldn’t express it condusively.
What do I mean by that? I suggest you google the law of the sea..the law of the land…. “admiral law”. Not an easy thing to realize (real LIES).
Ecuador is full of a sorta dumbed down paper-work chain that does not make molecule sense. I don’t mean to sound demeaning or rude, but it is the experience of most “northerners” (or westerners whatever that means…those closer to the center of the plane) that the policies and practices are challenging. The requirements here are crazy…and often, unless you know someone, the left hand does not know the right hand and they argue a lot leaving you as the little guy stunned and shocked. This hampers the course of action so that logic just shakes it shoulders in shackles. It is like a west side story on political steroids. Do this! Do that! Can’t you read the signs? Ya, I can! Yes, I did! But, you don’t like my face so you are going to stop me from being approved. When you give people power, they will enjoy blocking others if they have been inoculated with Agenda 2030. Sad, that is..but reality. And, while this is another topic, racial prejudice goes both ways, up and down and in and out. It is a fact that we operate in no one matters. I am considered white privilege…ha ha ha….I know the other side to this story. Sorry, off topic!
I remember 9 years ago trying to set up a bank account here. Apparently my signature was not looking like my signature on my ID. So, they gave me blank paper and said “practice”…make it look like your signature. I tried and tired and over time (like an hour of my time), my nerves turned into tears. Eventually the clerk signed for me and made it right. Why? I am told maybe because fraud is rampant here…in other words corruption! But, the photo is me, si? I am here presenting me! Yes? How come I am corrupt because I can not duplicate my signature on my photo ID I presented to you?
Today, I eventually got through to a Canadian Government Agency after a 2 hour wait of elevator music comotion and “covid sounds spots” in between – “sorry wait times are longer than expected due to covid”. Has covid got into the phone systems now? But, finally, a “persons” arrives to speak too me. I was excited! I assumed due to Ecuadorian ways that the paper-work to file would have to be translated (from Spanish to English), notarized and, since Canada is not a part of the HAG convention, certified twice and stamped, sealed and sworn. The lady on the phone was sympathetic. No, she said, just sent it. In fact, here is an email address to use to send your application. Send the papers after. Have you ever tried to get an email address for a government agency? Strange! And, due to covid, the requirements are less or perhaps easier! Seriously! Seems that has saved me $800 or more. But, but, but, I said, I spoke to the Canadian embassy here in Ecuador and they said “this and this and this”. She said, well, the times have changed and we are not having those requirements any more. No translations! No certifications! No hoops and loops! I realize I have been totally inoculated by the latin culture…expecting the worst and doing the loops and hoops of paper processing particulates that are quite unnecessary,
The point is: I live in a culture that crosses “ts” twice and dots “eyes” so the pupil extract. Being here ten years, I am shell shocked with this floppy flipping frenzy. I find we have to prove ourselves over and over…with $ offerings to the systems. We white skins try to smile. They don’t like us. They don’t like our face and they will find a way to stop us and they can. It causes one to wrap up in preparation for the worst case scenario. So, I am feeling slightly amused and realize I am traumatized.
Jim and I purchased new land together. In this process it meant he had to change his permanent residences status from one property to another. As this process was happening, the “system” decided to change a few things….numbers. So, Jim’s file was halted. It sat in the application office…not denied but not accepted. Jim gave up. He’d been here over ten years and they due to a leger, they stopped his file. I am glad he gave up as know it makes it easier (somewhat for me) to get some things in order now. And, it meant he was a man of his “word”. And, he was glad because finally he was in no man’s land. He liked that!
I, now, have to return from no-man’s land to the sea. And, I realize it is often “who you know” not what you know here. I am glad that I can call on this “knowing” and use some of my own smarts and hopefully get things in order. Order? Did I say that? Dis-order, actually..it is chaos and we all participate in it don’t we?
But, getting back to the paperwork I need to cover and do (due)….I am wondering if covid is actually having a somewhat easing of the functions around us? The “requirements” are dropping drastically. Are there some veils actually coming down? Crazy covid, is compassion and ease coming from the exterior seams?
I am not and never will be a gal of that system. But, we have to be. We have to play the game. Jim was disgusted in this. He adored me as I was basically free in that regard. Now he is gone, I have to hop back in. I don’t want too..but doing so helps others. It honestly is a labour of love for something more and better than just me. I have to return from “no man land” to the “sea”. But, Jim, and I are not a “number” again with CAPITAL letters. Call me a corporation, now, so that maybe good can happen! But I stand as “me” always. I sorta smiled (although not allowed) for the head shot photo..that can now be taken with your phone in you home…covid said so…ha ha ha. Boom! I am in..but stand out!
I can play this game…but, I state, again, I am not doing it to benefit myself. You want me to play, I move my little pawn cross-wise and take that Bishop down. There are more pawns, you know? It is okay to be crafty sometimes!
I do realize how shell shocked I am within this society around me. My new passport has just arrived and when I get my hands on it, I have to sign my signature, again. I am most happy to scribble the swirls in a manner that I can always remember and duplicate…..hopefully. Maybe I should just make it an “X”…easy to duplicate. Or maybe I should make it a “Q” for Jim..the Q factor!? I think that is a good idea..my signature will be “Q”! I like that, lol!
I am not afraid. I will get this done and continue to make a difference so that we all wake up…one Q PAWN at a time. I will be poor at the end of this as it cost a lot of money…but my heart is rich and the land is full and no one will take this source from me. NO ONE! I will carefully choose the legacy of Jim for the future. It will be offered with consideration, care and, yes, legalities that prevent assholes and vultures from taking it away.
Aho!
Love you Jim
And, Jimi, help me here! This is nuts!
