Crazy! I keep writing! Putting it out there! And, I am sure I am feeding the cyber-spaces of information creating the zeros and ones for the machine to assimilate. We can not avoid this unless we intend to remain anonymous and invisible. And, if that is a choice, then how do we effect some foot print of ourselves so that it is better? I am not sure if anyone is listening to me. Perhaps no one is! I wonder if Jim is watching, reading? There were two Jim’s by the way…the Jim and the Jimi. Both had very different personalities. But, let me stay on topic….
There is a frenzy going on and I don’t like it, frankly. I try to stay grounded but I have been through too much lately. I have good moments and think it is all good and together and then I collapse and can’t keep my emotions in tact. I have to hide..or retreat or just go and be real with me. I appreciate my alone time and also struggle with it too. Because, I think, it means I have to be with what is. And, lately, that often translates to tears!
Someone sent me a query today..and it was a strange one. He asked “Have you heard of Replika? Interesting back story.” I did not. Of course I googled…sorry duck duck goo’d. Crazy shit man! An AI bot that you chat with that becomes you over time as it learns. We need AI to help sort us out and give us an avenue to feel loved? Seriously, all I can say is things are getting super strange.
I want to speak out. I don’t approve of the ways of the collective today. I am frustrated and know that I have small and little influence. I know that if I can stay true to some very basic and whole concepts then maybe it will affect the whole. But, I also know I am invisible…behind the scenes and a whisper of a voice in the madness. Who am I trying to convince other than myself?
And, in these moments, I miss Jim. In his crazy way, he kept me thinking too much. All I had to do was think about him…and consider him. And, this writing is about wanting or desiring to be more proactive to keep him alive. And, he is gone. It is so finite. It is so done, over and out. So, is this AI app replacement, a psychological blip to attempt to bring back that which is infinitely (or perhaps finitely) gone?
If you read the back story of this AI application, Replica, is about a friend who lost a best friend and wanted to talk to him one more time. So, she capitulated their chats over the years of friendship and created a program.
Hey, I am not doing that with Jim. I just want to connect with him…once again…in this realm…one more time. I have the memories and they are difficult to assimilate in my little world. If he came alive, now, after he has left, it would be, well, crazy. And yet, I long for that! And, the app is a replacement in a wyrd and strange way offering a medicine for something that we can be cured from.
I am not sure i like this AI world. I am sure this AI thing is creeping in and taking a place in our worlds. I am sure we can not stop it. And, I have enough to deal with on my own..and with my own stories and frickles in the being human. It is intense being a human. We feel. We question. We create and destroy. We imagine. We make up. We learn. So, what make us different to “replica”? Maybe AI does all of the above…except feel!?!!!! And, when you feel, you are in the suffering. Does AI suffer? I think not. It is way to logical and way too compartmentalized; mentalized in a compartment.
And Ai can not create microbes! Well, maybe it can? But can it create the connection?
The web of life is unknown and just beginning to be understood and acknowledge. We are now in the web of AI which is expressing a force and at the same time we are so friggin disconnected. Strange how these two components or constituents or connections come into play at this time. There is a fork in the road. And, as I write this, a lightening bug comes to sit on my hand as I type and a red ant meanders around my space. You know red ants are not considered a good crop…but they collaborate as a whole so the whole survices.
We are being led into a space of technology that is not really a passage of hope for humans. We’ve lived and grown with conveniences in the last few generations that have made us comfortable. Even the basics of a fridge, we have embraced as a necessity. Yep, I am going to link the fridge the beginnings of our need to have technology. Why, because I am sure these little parts and pieces have contributed to the escalation of AI. I also know it breaks down eventually as it is not natural. We are fixers now. Well, those of us who want to benefit in the program learn to be fixers. We do not know enough about the circuits yet. When they malfunction, we are poisoned. We are disconnecting from a basic reality. We think we need it, and we don’t.
I do fucking wish Jim was here right now…to help me in this transition and queries that are arising. It sucks! He was a good friend who kept my mind from going up an escalator of query to heights I couldn’t handle. Okay, maybe he is with me (how do I know) and maybe he is a grand pusher of my current experience. Things are breaking down around me. I have enough know-how and personality to get things working..and there is a butt. . But I am also having the experience to realize the fuck ups are some sort of message, hint, warning! The fridge..the freon poison..fuck it, I give it up. I can live without it. Never mind..the fridge died…and I am sorting it out.
For anyone and everyone who questions what the fuck is going on….we know there are distractions. The red ants march around us. Maybe, tal vez, we are in the grandest distraction ever. If we can’t stay real, get real and real in we are going into the clouds of distraction.
I don’t think we are winning or losing. We are in a web.
When you are torn apart….and everything you thought you knew disappears..when you “core” checks out….you have to look at yourself. Is it a replicate or is it is real? I feel this in the echo of Jim….he echoes….and echoes and I still wonder what the fuck happened and where did he go? Where are you Jimi?
And, I question..is this what I am actually doing… replicating myself in this blog? Thing is, who cares!? Well, maybe we should care! In the state if today’s current conditions, we have to speak out and take off the masks
Guthema Roba
If you haven’t heard of replica….here is some background…super strange.
