Follow me on
Amalgamating Everything!

There is a next step in evolution that is creeping into view.   The grief of the last couple of months has created insights arising from the question “what now?”.    I remember Jim sharing this was his “question” after Ruchel passed 10 years ago.   It is a combination of realizing “they” are gone, accepting the reality and asking how “they” would like us to continue?.   

For Jim, it was building his house.   For me, it is continuing with the creation here on the land.   When Jim was alive, I didn’t realize, fully, how much he appreciated what I brought and delivered into his world.   Since his passing, I’ve reviewed many conversations and moments where he “told me” but I couldn’t hear due to my own issues.   There has always been a sense that being “alone” is not good.    Wow, I fought it for my entire life and my entire life it has been teaching me.

I am feeling very blessed and honored to be continuing with the dream we held together.    I am afforded the time and place to do all I love to do.    It humbles me.   I am alone!    It is here that magical things are happening…..

I just shared this post on social media last night….

Lock down is funny really!

So, this country I live in decided to shut down on wknds only to stop the spread of the virome. What has happened? I hear a decrease of 2 %. is that good or bad? But seriously, okay, shut down the cities but for us land people, there is no way you can prevent us from being and doing as we be and do. It is not that there is rebellion. People just are living and surviving. And, that is why I love this land.
For us land dwellers…nothing changes because we just continue to live as always. It is like the BIG that is trying infiltrate has not quite got its’ way, yet.
The local families, the local men have been working “off guard” and in their own time (after long hours of normal labour), to secure my house and give me security. This wasn’t completed in Jimi’s time and I don’t have the resources or know how myself. So, my heart is full of their “giving”.
For those who know me, I am not security programmed, but I get it is important. The boys have been working hard..and I have some sense of security growing and giving me a sense that it is okay. But, it is not the cages and locks that matter, it is the people who are giving just to simply help me. That gift is rare in today’s ways.
And also today, a local goat farmer came to take two males and give me a beautiful new female in exchange. I was wondering if I should “give up” this part of my life. To raise and maintain animals is hard work….talk about attention to detail!!!!! You want to taste nature, raise a herd.
So,back and forth the goats were transported. It is lock down, si?
In the real world we don’t care. Life is about sharing and caring. As a western woman, I do pay heed to the rules presented me. Living in this land based community, I pay heed to what is needed in the moment. There is a difference.
I don’t know what I did to deserve such good people around me. And, I want to give back. There are natural laws that supersede governing laws.
Oh, today, I also did two live blood intakes today for locals. It goes round and round. Unfortunately, both those whose blood I look at had the needle yesterday. And, perhaps that is a gift for me…to see what is happening and what needs to be rectified. They might have got the needle but on a lock down day, they came, regardless. Therein lies some understanding! I do take that into account and my analysis is aimed at assisting that which has been altered and doing my best to help.
Be not afraid! None of us know it all..or the grand picture…but each of us has a part. I love I live in a space and place where we are not afraid. All we can do, any and all of us, is our best.
And, I am the wyrd grey haired, widowed gringo here….who is just trying to be my best…to love and be loved with what is in front of me.
Now to name the new goat….she is really cute. Got the parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme….maybe another herb?

Now the what next!   It is no longer a question but an exclamation!

The new baby goat’s name is “yarrow”.    My old gal, Sage, is not doing very well.   I am not sure her age.   She could be 12, 14 or more!   But, I can accept it her times is coming to pass too and my role is to keep her comfortable.  I went through a period of query lately where I didn’t know whether I could continue with some of the creations and losses around this land.    The losses felt overwhelming. but the lessons BIG   It is a lesson in embracing “alone” in order to elevate to the next level of creation.

And, there is a lot being created.  The still is steaming, the bottles fermenting.   Harvests are turning into wine and mash.   The land is flourishing, the water trickling.   I have taken all my writings from the past 10 years and imported them into this website.  I am in more creation mode than I ever have been.    It seems fitting that this one space (purple carrot) contains all the words I have shared.   It amounts to over 150 articles sharing dreams of the past, now and future.    It shares my messiness, wobbles and whines.    It shares the creation on step at a time.    

I continue with the soil work and the creation of the alchemy business “Living Ground” and the pieces are merging perfectly.   I continue to create the compost piles and checking them under the microscope.   I continue the learning process and realize that true knowing includes the sense of being uncertain.    That uncertain-ness opens the cracks for imagination and development. 

While my heart is still very sad and I experience the loss of Jim with a deep aching, I am okay.   The “what now” is clear.    And, being alone I can embrace as a blessing.    Fuck, it took me a long time to understand this and life sure did make sure I was going to “get it”.   

So, I will be blogging more about the creations and the alchemizations here on the purple-carrot club site.   I will be sharing more about healing, forming, imaginative experiments.   I will talk more about the soil and the amazing micro world that gives us life.  I will add my little voice to this connect web to offset the energy of manipulation and control.    

That is it for now other than sharing my deepest gratitude for Jim.    Mom said to me “try to remember the good things”.   I am!


PS   Jim, you would have loved this…

Translate »
Follow Purple Carrot Club on
%d bloggers like this: